May is a retired artist, she never married. Until recently she lived in the family home (where she was born 86 years ago), with her elderly cat Marshall. She’s gentle, vital and witty; her stories are fabulous. Her sister’s children are an intricate part of her life. Her nephew lives locally, her niece is in Australia.

Recently she was diagnosed with a debilitating disease which made recovery from a fall particularly challenging. Her hospital team have recommended she move to a nursing home. They have presented options which need either May or her niece and nephew to direct but it’s awfully confusing. May knows what’s at stake and she’s stalling, she is aware this is a terrible time to make such an important decision. Sometimes May tells her family something completely different to what the hospital staff report, it seems like she’s making things up?

Her niece and nephew want to make an informed decision with May, but meeting times change, key people are not there when the family are and the juggle with their own families and jobs is weighing heavily on May. Her niece has flown over from Australia and the delays are adding to the burden of being away from her own family and life.

May needs to move on, “please hurry up” is the consistent message. If only someone had time to explain who everyone was, what they do and then write it down for her to think about. May feels she needs a bit more time to think. May feels blamed for delaying things.

May’s friends’ son has recently bought an apartment for his mother and has described luxury and all needs met. This is very tempting to her niece and nephew but not May, her friends have not enjoyed the transition from home to “those places”.

May needs more and different help. The unknowns and time lines for more and different add to everyone’s consternation. May is worried she’s going to end up in “one of those places”, her home sold (and what if she gets better)? She had hoped to pass on her home to her niece and nephew, this will now be sold to fund her nursing home care. May wants to know all the options but no one seems to have a straight answer, it feels so confusing to her.

Her niece and nephew are torn, May is quite clear, she’s heading home. The hospital reported it’s not safe. What to do?

We helped May find a short- term arrangement with a private hospital. She participated in an extended period of gentle rehabilitation overseen by the DHB and co-ordinated by Kaye and May’s niece in Australia.

May decided she was happy and well cared for where she was and chose to remain. Marshall the cat was adopted by the neighbour who had been feeding him, we co-ordinated the relocation of May’s art as she directed us to. We helped May distribute her remaining belongings amongst her family, friends and the community groups she chose. We were the local contact for her niece with the real estate sales person, lawyer and moving company.

We continue to visit May regularly to observe her enjoying access to optimal living and ensure her niece is up-dated with general well-being. This includes requests for small things which make a difference and May wouldn’t like to ask for them.

Let Giving Time™ help your family explore all the options for carefully appointed support.

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